I’ve been a pro Domme. And am a certified clinical hypnotherapist. These two things weave together in interesting ways.
As a Domme, I got to see sides of people they’d often never let anyone else see. Many showed that side for the first time in their lives. I didn’t slam the door in their faces. I didn’t shame them (unless that was part of the desire, part of the experience). Instead, I gave permission to open up and explore it. To see what was on the other side of that suppressed desire. Sometimes, it was just fun, just play. Lots of times, it was something revealing, something instructive, profound – about our humanity, our potential, our connectedness as human beings. That’s what I love about “taboo” or “kinky stuff”. It’s so universal, stuff we all share. We all have weird things, shaming things. No one is magazine perfect. How audacious to admit that, explore it – so naughty to be a mess. People who know how to feel that “shame”, own it, communicate and share it – with ourselves, with others – have use of a cool tool, a life skill. The great equalizer.
As a hypnotherapist, it was about taking a desire, maybe for more organization or direction or focus in ones life, and relaxing into that desire. Literally, relaxing the thoughts around the desire and letting them go. So to allow the imagination to come in and explore the desire, whatever desire it was. The imagination has a perspective that our thoughts, sometimes directed by anxiety, shame, by fear, just don’t have to deal with. Our imagination can see how it might feel to let the desire come true. Allowing the body, the soul to “remember” what the desire feels like manifested. Training the muscle memory of the soul in a way to get used to feeling lighter, more organized, more focused. So that behaviors begin to increasingly align with the positive feelings. That’s what drives action.
Kink Coaching weaves the essences of those arts together. It is a wonderful to help someone get beneath the blocks that keep the imagination and thoughts/decisions from aligning with positive action. To celebrate successes and get curious about moments when the intention and action aren’t aligned. Not a failure. Get curious. Usually there’s something powerful in those moments, like little packets of energy that are just blocked, unused, and have a different kind of key that opens them.