Do you know the doors to your rabbit hole?

Imagine that place we all have inside us, that dark place. In it lie thick, loamy, rich emotions that when left untouched or unseen calcify. They, you can imagine, vibrate slowly energetically, like rocks versus air. Things like shame, self loathing. Low vibrations. To contrast, take joy: a rarefied, high vibration. Joy’s voice doesn’t growl like loathing; joy sings. I think you can imagine it.

Do you know the doors that yawn open inside you and can bring you down so fast when you cross their thresholds? Those are important to identify. They can be interesting, fecund explorations in kink though certainly all kinky explorations don’t require focus on these places. Honestly, though, I think they do, whether acknowledged or not. After all, power is first experienced when we are most powerless – before birth, in early childhood. How helpless we are then; we must rely on some large, omnipotent yet flawed conundrum of a presence to figure out when we are hungry, thirsty, cold, tired, or have shit ourselves, and to remedy the problem with ever-present compassion and love. When we are not received that way, a gap opens. The self must soothe. That gap can widen, and in it our ways of coping with that void develop. Our life can become a hall full of the doors that lead to these voids. As adults, those are the doors we need to become familiar with. Not ignore them. If we find ourselves fat, miserable, lonely, unhappy, this might be the case.

In our work together, the most important thing we do is to open these doors, peer down in the dark, and holding hands, leap together. Somehow just in doing that, light comes. I think the void unfurls out of loneliness. Experiencing it with someone to hold space and see it with you takes away the power lost. In exchange, it shifts. Potential energy to kinetic.



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